Trembling At the Threshold

With our book – The Way of the Mysterial Woman: Upgrading How You Live, Love and Lead - about to be published on April 12th I am standing on the threshold of a very new phase of my work and life. The book is the 'pearl of great price' after twenty years of a committed exploration into how women could develop to the next level of our evolutionary potential. There have been many rewarding gifts and many heart breaking losses during this time, and I can feel it all jangling around inside as I stand here now. 

And I am trembling. I have been waking up the last few weeks with what feels like a mix of terror and excitement in my body – tercitement I have come to call it. I am excited about all the opportunities that are possible now as the Mysterial pattern awakens in the world. And my body remembers the last time I stood on the edge of an important precipice in 2012 with the first draft of the book complete and a new program about to launch. I did not take off in joyous flight. Instead, after the brutal death of my husband, I tumbled down into a very dark and difficult abyss. 

And now here I am again perched on the threshold between what has been and what will become. What I know to be true is that if you follow the call of your destiny there will be times in your life when you will be required to stand naked on the edge of a new possibility. Whether that is publishing a book, losing someone you love, starting a new job, leaving a relationship, entering into a new relationship, moving, launching a new creative project, following a dream, having a child, saying goodbye to a child, studying something new, or any other catalytic moment of change. 

There is something powerful about letting ourselves feel the shakiness of a new beginning. Not toughing it out with positive affirmations like ‘I will not and cannot fail!” or spiritually bypassing it with, “This is what the universe wants me to do and it will all work perfectly” or shaming ourselves with, “What’s wrong with me – I should be more confident.”

What if this trembling is a way that our body signals to us that we are truly at a significant threshold. What if it is a somatic invitation to presence this Great Turning in our lives and not skip over it because it is so uncomfortable? What if we were to stop at the gateway and bow down to the Great Mystery before we stand tall and step through the doorway into what is next.  

This is what it means to tremble before the right things. And this has been my practice in the wee hours of the morning – to be with my trembling self and say:

 “Little one, little one of course you are shaky. This is a big threshold and it deserves to be honored. Your body knows this. I can’t take away the unknown but I can assure you that you are trembling at the right things.

May you feel the ground of all that has come before in your life beneath you, and may you feel the gentle winds of possibility that will lift you into what lies ahead. May you rest into faith that you are enough just as you are and empowered to do what is yours to do in the world. May you know in your heart that you have within you all that you will need to meet the opportunities and challenges ahead. May you feel my love and all the love that surrounds you in a great embrace of belonging.

Now let’s go back to sleep and tomorrow we will stand together and face into the new day.”