We all have our ways of avoiding the very wounds that are trying to get our attention. We distract ourselves with busy work, over indulge in various substances that numb our pain, turn our attention outward to someone else’s suffering, feel sorry for ourselves and fall into a pit of despair, analyze and reframe our situations to try to think our way out of the pain, find someone or something to blame for our situation.
They are all strategies to avoid contact with the intensity of feeling that is arising now to be integrated and healed. We need to be home in ourselves to receive these feelings.
I’d like to offer you a practice from The Mysterial Sequence - our developmental pathway, specifically aligned with how women grow - that is a wonderful way to work with these intense feelings and begins the process of changing our relationship to them. And like life itself, it all begins with The Mother.
The Mother Archetype is the first gateway in The Mysterial Sequence which opens the channel for the next level of our genius potential to emerge. And when we have cultivated this healthy Mother function we turn toward our suffering as we would toward a wounded child who needs our kindness and nurturing.
Three Things You Can Do Right Now To Awaken your Healthy Inner Mother
1. Invocation From The Mother
Take a few moments to read, aloud if possible, these words from The Mother and allow them to touch your heart and awaken your own inner Mother:
Dear one, relax now into my embrace.
Let my peaceful darkness envelop you in its silken comforter,
inviting you to let go of your burdens.
Surrender and sink into my infinite ocean of love,
my liquid warm buoyancy.
In my eyes, you are perfect.
In my heart, you are enough just as you are.
Turn down and in to the exquisite vessel of your being
and there you will find me,
present in every cell of your body.
Feel how your suffering and your longing is welcome here
in my fertile womb.
Let the cycles of the moon guide you home to my hearth.
Rest into a natural great peace
in the transforming chalice of my Yin heart.
(From page 84 of The Way of the Mysterial Woman: Upgrading How you Live, Love and Lead)
2. Self-Compassion Practice
I have shared this with you before and am sharing it again because it so SIMPLE and SO POWERFUL. Again it is best if you can do this out loud. When you are triggered into reactivity – anxiety, sadness, anger, frustration or you are just having a tough time for any reason – take a moment to lovingly put your hands over your heart chakra. Allow their comforting presence to soothe and soften you.
- (Your Name), this is a moment of suffering. This is hard right now.
- We all struggle in our lives – I am not alone.
- May I hold myself with tenderness in this moment.
- May I be kind to myself in this moment.
- Take a deep healing breath of self-compassion.
(From page 104 of The Way of the Mysterial Woman:Upgrading How you Live, Love and Lead)
3. Re-Mothering Practice
Now that you have turned toward your suffering, like a loving Mother, ask yourself:
“What do you need and want today that will allow you to feel a sense of love, safety, well-being and belonging?"
Ask the question and allow your Being to respond. You may be surprised by what she says, either through quiet inner words, feelings, intuitive impressions, or subtle energy moving in your body.
These do not need to be big events that require restructuring your day. The very act of engaging the inquiry begins to allow a healthy Mothering function to develop.
Translating the desire into action may not be feasible immediately. Nevertheless, it is important that you follow through in some way with your Being’s request.
Remember that as a wise Mother you might need to translate the desire into something that is doable. For example, if Being signals that it is longing for a day off to luxuriate in a spa and you know you need to work, you might suggest a compromise: a soak in your tub in the evening.
Some examples of Being Desires to get you started:
- I need 15 minutes of quiet time alone today.
- I want to be with good friends and feel a deep sense of belonging.
- I need a nap this afternoon followed by a cup of hot tea.
- I want a hot bubble bath at the end of the day with soft music playing.
- I need a hot sweaty workout.
- I want to laugh and tickle my son.
- I want to walk barefoot on the beach.
- I want to prepare a great meal and share it with my family.
- I want to go onto social media and share a story with my friends.
- I want to work in my garden for a bit today.
(From page 103 of The Way of the Mysterial Woman: Upgrading How you Live, Love and Lead)
I hope that you find these practices helpful - I know that I certainly have and use them again and again.