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Relaxing the Inner Critic – Going With the Flow


I would love to live
Like a river flows,
Carried by the surprise
Of its own unfolding.
~ John O’Donohue

We can be so hard on ourselves, can’t we? Pushing toward a goal with unrelenting harshness, trying to control things to go the way our minds think they should go. 

  • How can I still have belly fat when I’m working out every day, intermittent fasting, not eating carbs and sugar?
  • How come I’m still reacting to my children after all this inner work I have done?
  • Why can’t I just make the decision and take the actions I know I need to take?
  • Why can’t I find my sense of direction or purpose and make a greater contribution in the world right now?
  • Where did my playful spirit go and how did life become such hard work?
  • What’s wrong with me that I can’t find a relationship that really works where I feel met and accepted for who I am?
  • Why am I so overwhelmed and exhausted by everything (and everyone) I am responsible for and have nothing left for myself at the end of the day?
  • ​What’s wrong with me that I am anxious and depressed on some level a lot of the time, even though anyone looking in would say I “have it all” and should be happy.

Can you relate to any of these judgements, fears, disappointments? 

What if the discomfort in our lives is not a sign of failure or an indication that we have somehow done something wrong? What if it is simply a signal that our inner operating system is limited and is ready for an upgrade so that we can become the women we sense ourselves to be.

Women born for these times. 

With the Harvest full moon in Pisces today (Saturday at 2:59 am PST) we are being invited to get a bit dreamy, relax the inner critic and grip we have on ourselves to be someone or something or somewhere we aren’t yet.

It is a powerful time to drop the whip from our hands, be more accepting of where we are right now,  surrender and go with the flow. This is the place from which to start the work of shifting – flowing from the ground of where we are right now. 

So here is a practice for you to deepen the Feminine capacity to go with the flow.

It is specifically for awakening the inner Maiden archetype – you can read more about the Maiden archetype and why it is so important to access this energy in this blog.

Go with the Flow Practice for Cultivating Emergent Flow

Emergent Flow: To be fully in the now and open to whatever emerges as you follow the creative impulse into action. A feeling of spontaneous joy, energized focus, full involvement and effortless effort in whatever you are doing. 

Select a period of time, such as a Saturday morning, and for at least one hour simply follow the flow of your pleasure and joy. When something stops being pleasurable you stop doing it. This activity must be done alone so that you are not adjusting to someone else’s rhythms or desires. 

Example of Practice: She went to a morning yoga class, then wandered around the outdoor market in her neighborhood, letting herself be drawn to various foods, objects and conversations as they emerged naturally for her. She sat down on a bench in the park with her coffee and listened to a musician playing folk songs. In the middle of a song she got up (normally she would have been polite and waited until the end) and found herself walking away from the market and into a trendy home boutique store nearby. She let the beautiful objects awaken and inspire her sensual, creative nature. As she turned down one of the aisles in the store she saw a young woman whom she had mentored at work many years before and they had a powerful and meaningful conversation together. It nourished her soul. 

After you do the practice consider journaling on these questions:

  1. What was your embodied experience as you surrendered to flow – what were your feelings, sensations, and the quality of your thoughts? 
  2. What was the quality of your experience after you did the practice? What did you notice about your energy and attention? Did the inner critic soften its grip?

I would love to hear what you have discovered in the Comments below. 

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Filed Under: Archetype Wound