The Mysterial Sequence: Healing the Hero in Women

This vlog is the second of a five part series on The Mysterial Sequence. To continue receiving insight and support through the other parts of this series, join us here.

For several decades, my work has been dedicated to the awakening of women and of their leadership capacities.  Through my University Women’s Leadership Development Programs, we were able to decode a developmental pathway that unlocked ‘evolutionary capacities’ in women, empowering them to be a match for these complex times!

We called this developmental path 'The Mysterial Sequence' and I’m honored to be giving you a glimpse of it in this 5-part video series. For those who are ready to unlock the fullness of their brilliance, I offer my renowned global online course Mysterial Leadership Essentials, which begins in May.

If you’re just joining us, I highly recommend you begin with the first gate in The Mysterial Sequence: Healing the Mother Wound in Women. In our research with hundreds of women, none of the five gates arose in isolation—there was always a critical relationship between the Feminine/Yin essence and the Masculine/Yang essence. The Mother gate is where we land in the sufficiency of our being and relax into who we are. We overcome the limiting core belief ‘I am not enough’ and grow into the liberating belief ‘I am enough just as I am’. It is from this grounded place that we can then source our most creative actions in the second gate: The Hero.

The Hero

The Hero energy in women typically arises between the ages of 8 and 10, often before we receive too many messages from our culture about what we should and shouldn't do as women. Before we are held back through these limitations, we tend to have a lot of energy and desire to express ourselves in specific ways which are unique to our individual gifts. But what happens to that natural impulse for creative self expression? 

Why does it matter?

The Hero energy allows us to be a dance partner with the world! For over 5,000 years we have been in a paradigm of hyper-masculine culture with tremendous Hero energy. That was not wrong...it was evolutions way of moving the human species forward. But at this point in the global story, in the absence of a relationship to the deep ground of our Feminine being, that Heroic energy often burns too hot. We need to learn to harness this energy In order to engage in the world and make our creative contribution without burning out. We need to have the heroic courage to claim what is ours to do and then act on it.

The Hero energy is the aspect of our nature that helps us to:

  • set and achieve goals and objectives
  • hold an intention and a desire
  • see a clear way ahead and move toward it
  • say “No” and draw boundaries (in order to cultivate and say “Yes” to higher priorities and values that we hold dear in the deep ground of our individual being – related to The Mother gate)
  • take risks: moving towards the edge and leaping into the unknown
  • differentiate from others
  • know when to pulse into action and when to be still 

By first healing The Mother wound (our sense that we are enough just as we are) and then The Hero wound, we have access to the Yang energy and clearly know and can act on what is ours to do.

The Shadow Root of The Hero

Within the collective unconscious resides the limiting belief of The Hero gate:

“I have to do to be of value.”

This imbalance, or shadow representation of The Hero often expresses in these ways:

  • Workaholic bravado
  • Over-doing - valuing of doing over being
  • Not being able to accomplish things, having an attitude of “I give up”
  • Capitulation “I’m not even going to try”
  • “I have no idea where to focus, or what is mine to do”

When the shadow work is done in The Hero gate, the liberating belief arises as an embodied reality:

“I am empowered to do what is mine to do.”

In contrast to the deep resting of the first Mother gate, The Hero energy is how we move forward in the world. When we embrace the relationship between these two gates, the previous battle between being and becoming is allowed to integrate so it is no longer a polarity that cannot be resolved. Both are held as healthy and necessary; ‘supportive of’ vs. ‘in competition’ with each other.

The healthy Mother and Hero Archetypes often express in our lives so that we are:

  • connected to the deep ground of our being
  • sourcing our doing from that deep ground
  • connected to our unique purpose
  • aware of what is ours to do
  • not over-doing but also not being afraid to do
 
 

 

Two Simple Practices to Awaken the Healthy Hero Archetype

The first Hero Practice - Self-Observation

Recognize the shadow grip of The Hero archetype. When is the limiting belief “I have to do to be of value” running you? Just notice.

It may help to keep a journal in a prominent place where you can jot down your awareness each day for a week. You can explore these questions with a friend who is also open to self-observation and capable of honoring your vulnerable sharing.

When the limiting belief is operating: What are your thoughts (mind)? What are the feelings (heart)? What are the body sensations?

The very act of noticing will start to soften and loosen the unconscious hold on you. How does that limiting belief drive you? What would happen if it wasn’t driving?

What if the liberating belief “I am empowered to do what is mine to do” was the guiding and motivating energy? How would your feelings, thoughts and actions be different? I welcome your sharing about this practice and more in the comment section below.

The 2nd Hero Practice – Rhythmic Dive

In our hypermasculine culture, we tend to have our foot constantly on the accelerator. But research has shown that we are more productive when we pulse on and off.

Choose a day when you have some freedom in your schedule. Set a timer to 90 minutes, and at this interval, get up from your focused attention or work, and shift to a more open, relaxed way of being for at least 10 minutes. Dance, do yoga, go for a walk, play with a pet. Intentionally pull yourself out of the pattern of doing, and into one of nourishing your being.

At first it may be very difficult to make the shift - we are so wired for action. You may think you cannot step away from the doing because there’s so much to be done! You may feel you’re forcing yourself and that it’s initially not a productive move—just try it for 10 minutes anyway. Then return to another 90-minute cycle of focused attention. Notice how this affects your day, mood, productivity and more. Please share in the comment section below, how did you find this practice affected you and your projects?

 
 

An Invitation

I invite you to take in these words from the poet Rumi, to inspire the healing of your Hero wound:

“Let the beauty we love be what we do.
There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground.”

I'll be continuing the conversation below and would love for you to join and weave in the thread of your own heart! How is The Hero Archetype showing up in your life? How has the shadow shown up? What difference would it make in your life and others, if you could find its healthy expression?

In my upcoming global online course Mysterial Leadership Essentials, we venture into the healing of all five gates, within a safe and sacred space. Learn more and register here.

As always, thank you for exploring with me. 

 

Watch the next video in The Mysterial Sequence: Healing the Father Wound in Women